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If you want to be a great communicator, follow these steps.




Be aware of the Human Interaction Process in yourself and attempt to understand it for the other person you are communicating with. The human interaction process happens in 5 steps.

  1. We perceive something through one or more of our five physical senses.
  2. A thought is triggered.
  3. An emotion is triggered.
  4. An intention is derived.
  5. We act in some way. Silence, word choice body action, etc...



The whole cycle happens again and again as we move through our day interacting with the outside world.




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Communicate your HIP using effective and gentle word choice.

  1. Share your HIP using ‘I” statements. I saw, I heard, I think, I am feeling, My intention is. Etc.
  2. Ask questions to understand and clarify. When you hear me say that, what are you thinking or feeling?
  3. Respond with clarity and ‘I’ Statements. When I hear your response I think, I feel and what I want is…
  4. Clarify or paraphrase. The way I interpret that is…. Am I correct? So what you said is…..
  5. Validate the others persons thoughts, emotions and intentions by telling them they are valid, whether we agree with them or not.
  6. When using the word ‘you’, utilize it in questions or behavior descriptions. What do you think? How do you feel? What I heard you say is… When you respond in that manor, I think and feel…
  7. Avoid the word ‘should’. Use ‘could’ instead.
  8. Avoid the word ‘Always`. Use `often’  or ‘mostly’.
  9. Avoid the word ‘never’. Use ‘rarely’.
  10. Avoid the words ‘Everyone and all’. Use ‘many’ or’ most’.
  11. Avoid the words “no-one’. Use ‘few’ or ‘some’.

Listen attentively with empathy and the intention of understanding the other person Human Interaction Process.

  1. Sit up, lean slightly forward, and nod appropriately. These gestures let others know I am interested in what they are saying.
  2. Make some eye contact. It builds trust and confidence.
  3. Keep the body open and relaxed, not closed with arms and legs crossed. A relaxed posture will help me to feel more open.
Be patient. Act after thinking about how the other person could be affected.

Remember that people’s feelings shift all the time. Feelings often change as a result of new information or insight.

The number one problem in business is typically communication and information flow. Most business leaders will tell you that their best communicators are there best employees and their best leaders.

The best communicators from our experience are those who naturally communicate sharing the HIP process. They are aware of their thoughts, emotions, intentions and they understand how their actions affect others to a greater degree than those who are not as good at communicating. They share the HIP process clearly and they listen really well.

We want Schools to adopt the teaching of the HIP process to all of our children so they build healthy communications habits from a young age. They will have less difficulty navigating through the complexities of life in a planet filled with over 7 billion different humans all sensing, thinking, feeling, intending and acting in different and valid ways, all day long.   

Thanks for reading.

If you want more information on communicating with the HIP or someone to facilitate a workshop, please contact us through info@sixthsense.org